Toby Messer, NCPS
Toby Messer uses a practical, evidence-informed approach to help people make changes that matter now.
- Stress & Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- +18 more
About Toby
Toby Messer uses a practical, evidence-informed approach to help people make changes that matter now. He focuses on understanding why people act and feel as they do, then works with them to build new ways of coping and relating. Toby combines structured techniques with deeper reflection so clients leave sessions with clear steps to try between meetings.
Over 11 years Toby has worked with a wide range of concerns. He supports people dealing with anxiety, stress, depression, grief and self-esteem struggles.
Background and approach
He also helps those facing relationship and intimacy issues, addiction, bipolar challenges and the fallout from trauma and abuse. Toby draws on several well-known therapies to shape sessions. Cognitive approaches give practical tools for worrying thoughts and behaviours.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps people clarify values and take meaningful action. Attachment-based ideas help make sense of relationship patterns and emotional responses. Sessions are conversational yet goal-focused.
He aims to help people notice patterns, try small experiments and track what helps. That can mean developing coping skills, building better communication, or planning steps to manage big life changes. People can expect straightforward language and a collaborative stance.
Toby emphasises clear goals and measurable progress while allowing space for deeper reflection. He offers support to English-speaking clients in the United Kingdom and beyond.
Registration
| Body | Registration number | Expires |
|---|---|---|
| NCPS | NCS15-01812 | August 2026 |
Registration details are as listed on the counsellor's public profile. You can check any number with the registering body.
Sessions and payment
Sessions are held online through our partner platform, by video, phone or messaging depending on the counsellor.
Costs are shown on the partner platform before you commit. If cost is a concern, ask about reduced-fee options.
Focus areas and approaches
What Toby works with
Everything Toby lists, in their own terms.
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- Self esteem
- Depression
- Addictions
- LGBT
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
- Intimacy-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Sleeping disorders
- Parenting issues
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Bipolar disorder
- Coping with life changes
- Coaching
- Compassion fatigue
- ADHD
- Abandonment
- Aging and geriatric issues
- Antisocial personality
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Cancer
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Codependency
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Dependent personality
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Dissociation
- Divorce and separation
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Fertility issues
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Gender dysphoria
- Guilt and shame
- Hoarding
- Hospice and end-of-life counselling
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Veteran and Armed Forces Issues
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Narcissism
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Polyamory / non-monogamous relationships
- Postpartum depression
- Post-traumatic stress
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Sexual dysfunction
- Sexuality
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Trichotillomania
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Approaches Toby lists
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centred Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
- Existential Therapy
- Jungian Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Systemic Therapy
Listing an approach is not evidence of training in it. This directory copies what each counsellor names and does not check training records.
Online support
Finding the right approach is part of the work together. The therapist will discuss goals, preferences and what has and hasn’t helped before. That collaborative decision means the plan can change as people learn which methods fit them best.
Online therapy offers flexibility with video calls, phone sessions, live chat or text-based messaging. Video is useful for deeper conversation and visual cues, phone sessions work well when bandwidth is limited, live chat can suit shorter check-ins, and messaging lets people write through feelings between meetings. These options make it easier to fit therapy around work, care or travel while still using evidence-informed approaches.
Frequently asked
What problems does he help with?
He helps people with anxiety, stress and depression as well as grief and self-esteem concerns. He also works with issues like addiction, relationship and intimacy-related problems, bipolar challenges and trauma or abuse.
What is his therapeutic style?
His style is practical and analytical. Sessions combine structured techniques with deeper conversation so clients leave with tools and things to try.
How long has he been practising?
He has 11 years of experience working as a psychotherapist with a range of psychological and behavioural concerns.
Where does he practise and what are his credentials?
He practises in the United Kingdom and is listed with the credential NCPS as supplied in his profile.
Can I work with him if I live outside the UK?
Yes. He accepts international clients and offers sessions to people living outside the United Kingdom.
Which session formats are offered?
Sessions are available via video calls, phone sessions, live chat or text-based messaging to suit different needs and schedules.
How much do sessions cost?
Cost varies with location and therapist availability; sessions run on a subscription that can be cancelled at any time.
How do I begin therapy with him?
Start by clicking the Start Therapy button, complete a short matching questionnaire, and then schedule sessions according to the therapist's availability.
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